Lithium is Monovalent just like Na (sodium).
Two and then one, it will become happily stable if it loses ONE..
They even compete in Loop of Henle...
They come in here Manic, hyperverbal, hyperactive, grandiose,hyper-everything.....
Nobody knows what is the pathophysiology, what is the scientific explanation behind their illness.
Lithium brings them back to life....
Nobody knows how it works...
The discovery was just serendipity..
I am not a religious person, I do not believe in miracles.
My only religion is science
Psychiatry scares me, I just want to be normal, I want to go back to my own ICU....
Fluids, hypotension, respiratory failures, and septic shocks.
Death or Life... They will either survive, get better and go on with their lives or go to morgue. Either or...
Everybody here is alive though, and will go one living with this thing in their head. Today one of them said that he thinks his brain is "Overdeveloped.." And yeah they can stay on Lithium, but how many of them will follow through ???
I once had a boyfriend who was bipolar, he never knew though, I realized years later. The manic episodes made it hard for any guy to compete with him, he was beyond entertaining. But the reality is that these people are depressed 75% of the time. And then he would lie his ass off to justify his manic episodes without even knowing or believing that he was lying. Maybe if he was started on lithium I would have stayed with him, I lie I left him because I knew he was sick and did not want to bring drama into my life. There was so much of the mood changes that I could take. It hurt a lot at first, but then things started to fall into place.
If I go back to ICU, I will be a notch above mediocre. I might be able to work my way up to ER and Trauma. I might become someone, just MIGHT..
But if I stay here I will become someone. It is not that hard to tell, I am one of the few people people who does not struggle with Pscyh. Hell I even aced Dr.P's test and he is the god himself. Just like chemistry back in high school, it is like a breeze to me.
Our chemistry professor once said : It is not a rule in chemistry unless there is an exception. It is even better down here there are no rules, everything and everyone is an exception. I guess I always do better with the chaotic science.
I miss ICU, death I can handle, but uncertainty I know will get to me one way or the other. It did once before when I left him, even though I thought I loved him, and thought that I could stay, but at the end I just got tired and left.
Will see where the life will take me though, somethings are just out of your hands...
Labels: rotation diaries
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on Tuesday, February 23, 2010 at 6:44 PM.
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