a book of ordinary people

"... and the truth will set you free.
   And they never tell you the truth will make you odd, the Jesus was the king of odd," said the Priest.
 In a strange twist of fate, which involved a friend getting sick and almost going to ER and somehow caused me to wonder around the streets of San Francisco buying my first Christmas tree. I somehow ended up in a sermon on Saturday night in St.Ignatius church atop Fulton ( My Alma Mater church).
I have never had any faith, it was just not part of my upbringing. I flirted with religion couple of times, but turned out I was not much of a rebel and at the end of the day always came back to my secular tribe. All I always had was a suitcase full of beliefs, moral values, principles and scientific equations.
  But somehow I always end up there when prayer is the last weapon in my disposal...
  I sat through the mass, and all of a sudden remembered the last time I came here desperate for help. I remember kneeling and praying for him, I prayed for him to find happiness in his life without me. I had no faith in his ability to find happiness but I needed to set myself free and move on. I just could not stay with him any longer, the damage that he had been carrying around since childhood was contagious and I had to stay away from the source of infection.
   I cannot explain how it all went down, but somehow he found happiness( or contentment or maybe he got exactly what he wanted from life or .... ), turned out it was right in front of him all that time and I moved on with my life...
 I told myself that its a good time to ask for what I want, "just pray for it" I told myself "St.Ignatius will never let you down." And somehow I did not know what to ask for in my prayer. How could I not know what I want for myself, while I exactly know what do other people want? Isnt that odd? I suppose the truth is odd.
   I prayed though, to be delivered from my misery. And I hoped for the things to turn out alright, and I could feel it in my heart that things will be fine, because in reality things are already fine...

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