Nothing left to lose...
1- He said sometimes he jokes with his children :" You guys killed my dreams,"and I responded " That's what I usually tell my dreams : you guys killed my children. "
2. The problem with my life is that I really don't see any problems with it anymore. I live in a sleepy small town, working in a semi-dead end job and I don't really know anyone here and have no plans to get to know anyone. The problem is that I don't find a compelling reason to buy a house and move out of my comfortable one bedroom rental apartment, which at times I find too big for me. I don't see a point in moving out of this town or finding another job, not that I am happy no I don't even know what happiness is anymore. I just dont see how moving on to supposedly better things in life will make me feel any different.....
3- I finally was able to work at my dream job, just to get used to it and realize that it was not all dreamy after all, its just a fucking job....
4- All my friends are slipping away from my fingers, one by one. Be it moving, getting married, having babies or you know just plain growing up and moving on. My mom said the other day of a group of them who don't include me in their "group, " anymore :" Well they were good for you in your lonely times, those times are over now..." But aren't all your friends are the people who are good for you in your lonely times? And if you lose them all, wouldn't you be lonely all over again?
5- I asked a magic-8 ball " Will I end up living happily ever after ?" It responded :" NO..."
Then I asked :" Will I lead a miserable life ?" It responded :" Probably.."
Then I asked :" Will I ever die?" It responded :" Only Time Will Tell.."
6- I keep thinking what would I do with my life, if I was to die in a year? And I keep coming up with the answer :" Nothing, I will just do what I am doing now."
I even realized that I will not stop contributing to my retirement account, because honestly nothing is certain in this world even death. What if I survive it and want to retire as soon as I can?